Invocation University
by Moyashi.beansprout
Summary: AU; Yullen and Lucky. The Exorcists are in university! Gayness shall resume now. Warning: HUMOR THAT'LL MAKE YOU LOL! And swearing *cough* KANDA *cough* VOTE FOR GAARIN
1. Chapter 1

**Invocation University**

**

* * *

**Gaarin: -drinking blueberry vanilla mango coconut smoothie- ...  
Mizuhara: Ahem.  
Gaarin: What?  
Mizuhara: What is this story? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING ON GLITTER, or maybe even Tears!  
Gaarin: Che. Hypocrite.  
Mizuhara: ... Touché.  
Gaarin: Okay, so I was just thinking. There are too many high school Yullen fics. And too many teacher-student Lucky fics (although not enough Lucky fics in general ^^). So, anyway. To graduation, I wore this shirt thing, and the brand name was Mikk. And it was a fancy black shirt with lace.  
Mizuhara: And?  
Gaarin: So I was thinking, what would life be like for our Exorcists in university? -sips- Well, I've found jobs for all of them. Hopefully, you'll find this fic to be quite enjoyable, as well as cool? Maybe? Meh. Whatevs.  
Mizuhara: Are there sedatives in that drink? You're acting almost... normal!  
Gaarin: ... So anyway. Yeah. Enjoy this AU fic. Includes yaoi, swearing, and probably a fair bit of out-of-characterness.  
Mizuhara: Neither of us owns D. Gay- Man, even though Gaarin's acting cool for some reason.  
Gaarin: ... ... ... -sips- Enjoi, belov'ds. I'll update your perverted story soon enough, children.  
Mizuhara: Are there sedatives in there?  
Gaarin: No, but I made it... and it tastes good.  
Mizuhara: Drugs?  
Gaarin: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

* * *

Allen logged into his computer hurriedly, entering his email chat. To his delight, quite a few of his contacts were on.  
He typed into the chat box.

_Walker_14: Hey, is anyone out there?_

There were several immediate replies from his friends.

_Lenagirl: Hey, Allen! What's up?_  
_Hammerhead_Student: Yo, Brit!_  
_Rocketeer: Hello, Allen!_  
_Sensei: Oi, Moyashi._

Allen smiled, rolled his eyes, and replied.

_Walker_14: My name is Allen, arsehole!_  
_Sensei: Whatever, beansprout._

Allen smiled. Sensei, or his real name, Yuu Kanda, was a close friend of Allen's, although neither would ever admit it. The Japanese art student was bitter to the world, and only slightly less so to his friends. Kanda had some weird talents, like making a long blue ponytail look normal on a guy and his intensely dangerous sword-fighting skills. Allen and Kanda had met while Allen was researching for a story about a man who'd stabbed himself in order to paint a picture with his own blood. After all, Allen was a mystery writer. Kanda had been *unimpressed* cough cough- with the boy's bravery, and had sat with the boy every lunch after that.  
Lenalee Lee (Lenagirl) was another close friend of Allen's. She practiced and taught karate at her brother's fighting dojo, "Lee Martial Arts." She looked surprisingly fragile and delicate for a three-time women's world karate championship winner, and her overprotective brother, Komui Lee (Rocketeer), was... well... madly overprotective. One of Allen's pen pals, Bak Chan, from China, had a huge crush on Lenalee. But Komui had never let anyone near 'his' Lenalee, and he wasn't about to start.  
Komui was a science teacher at Invocation University, where Lavi, Allen, Kanda, and Lenalee all went. They were all studying different subjects (History, English, Art, Physiology) but they were still all good friends.

_Rocketeer: Hey, Lavi, so I heard you got another photo shoot with Dark Ark Fashions?_  
_Hammerhead_Student: Yup! *thumbs*_  
_Hammerhead_Student: I get to wear another of Mikk's designs!_  
_Hammerhead_Student: Aa... Maybe he'll include lace... -blush-_

Allen giggled before typing a reply. Lavi Bookman was studying for a degree in History, but he had the most amazing part-time-job ever- magazine model. Sometimes, Allen envied his friend for his job. And the fashion designer, Tyki Mikk, was an artist with a sewing machine instead of paintbrushes.

_Walker_14: Yeah, Mr. Mikk's designs are pretty!_  
_Lenagirl: I agree._  
_Sensei: ... I don't like the guy._  
_Allen nodded, and continued type-chatting._  
_Walker_14: I know what you mean. Well, he does work for the Dark Ark... They've got some really shady business deals..._  
_Hammerhead_Student: ... ... ... Brit, was that a pun?_  
_Walker_14: So what if it was?_  
_Hammerhead_Student: That was just unexpected, coming from you._  
_Walker_14: D: MEANIE. I HAVE A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR._

There was a long pause in the chats.

_Lenagirl: *cricket, cricket*_  
_Rocketeer: I know what you meant, Allen. The Ark does have underground dealings with all sorts of criminals. Their boss, M. Earl, is like a corporate wizard._  
_Lenagirl: An evil corporate sorceror named VoldeM. Earl!_  
_Hammerhead_Student: xD_  
_Walker_14: YOU'RE ALL ANNOYING._  
_Sensei: You're one to talk, fucking baka moyashi with your fucking baka moyashi martyr complex._  
_Rocketeer: Okay, Lenalee, let's go. It's about time you went to bed! What is it, one?_  
_Lenagirl: Not now! Kanda's talking about fucking his Moyashi!_  
_Rocketeer: OKAY, THAT IS IT! YOU'RE DEAD, YAOI FANGIRL! Farewell!_  
_Rocketeer signed out._  
_Lenagirl: *huff* Bye guys. Gtg._  
_Lenagirl signed out._

Allen chose to ignore Lenalee's comment about him and Kanda. The yaoi fangirl had been trying to set him and Kanda up ever since he'd met the grouch. Sadly, it had partially worked. Allen was gay (pre-Lenalee, he'd been gay before too), and did have feelings for Kanda, but he was sure Kanda didn't return them, and friendship was better than rejection.

_Walker_14: What do you mean, my martyr complex?_  
_Sensei: Remember that time you saw a fucking squirrel in traffic, and ran to go save its sorry ass, and I had to pick you up and run you out of the way of that semi?_

Allen remembered that.

_Walker_14: No, I don't remember that. I think you're imagining things about me... Dreaming about me?_  
_Timekeeper signed in._

Allen shuddered. _Oh great, Miranda's here._  
Miranda Lotto was a freshman to Invocation U, as was Allen. She had been a close friend to Allen all throughout high school. The girl's problem- well, there were two. She was the most sensitive person Allen knew. Just one mean word, and she'd break into tears. The second problem was that she loved clocks. Like, adored them. Like, was infatuated with them. Like, would marry them if only she could. She had signed up for Business, so that she could open a small clock store.  
_Please don't say anything mean, BaKanda... She's like a delicate leaf..._

_Sensei: I SWEAR TO MOTHERFUCKING GOD I WILL KILL YOU!_  
_Timekeeper: !_  
_Timekeeper: I'm so sorry for interrupting- please don't kill me!_  
_Timekeeper signed out._

Allen sighed.

_Walker_14: Now look what you did, Yuu!_  
_Sensei: Don't call me that, moyashi!_  
_Walker_14: WELL THEN DON'T CALL ME MOYASHI!_  
_Hammerhead_Student: Okay, you two! Stfu! You're acting like an old married couple!_

There was another long pause in the conversation.

_Hammerhead_Student: Well, I've got to get some beauty sleep. Want to look my best for Tyki!_  
_Sensei: ... What did you just say?_  
_Hammerhead_Student: Ano, I mean want to look my best for Tyki's outfit! KTHXBAI!_  
_Hammerhead_Student signed out._  
_Walker_14: Ok, well, ano... Um... Bye, Kanda!_

Allen moved his cursor over the "_Log Out_" hyperlink when Kanda replied.

_Sensei: Wait, Allen!_  
_Walker_14: EH? Did you just-_  
_Sensei signed out._

Allen said in a surprised voice, "He called me... by my name..."  
Allen shut his computer, and lay in bed, looking at the ceiling.  
"Maybe... he does care..."

* * *

Lavi leaned back.  
Shit! Why had he said that? Now Allen and Kanda would know that he liked Tyki...  
It wasn't his fault! After he had seen the Portuguese man the first time, he'd thought he was sexy, but that was all. Once he'd wore the man's pants, he was head over heels in love.  
The only problem was that Tyki was from the Dark Ark. Invocation University had actually banned wearing of clothes from said clothesline, for some reason. Lavi had a hunch that Malcolm Leverrier, the university's head, had a grudge against the mysterious man M. Earl.  
Also, Lavi wasn't sure Tyki returned his feelings. So he waited patiently for things to happen, like a good historian.  
Lavi fell asleep slowly, and the instant he lost consciousness, the window silently opened.  
A dark hand caressed the side of his face, whilst golden eyes gazed down wistfully upon what they couldn't claim.  
Suddenly Lavi twitched in his sleep, and with a swift movement Lavi's crush disappeared.

* * *

Kanda sighed.  
Damn that mother-fucking Moyashi. DAMN HIM TO HELL.  
Why had that annoying beansprout, out of the 6825899999 other people on Earth, why had he picked Kanda?  
It was obvious Allen liked him in *that* way. Really, you drop enough hints, even a complete idiot figures it out sooner or later. But why? That was what was plaguing Kanda. Why had the Beansprout fallen for him? Why not Lavi? Why not Lenalee? Why him? Why had Allen chosen him?  
And why couldn't he tell Allen his feelings?  
Kanda cursed his inability to communicate with members of the same species. Maybe he should just get some crack doctor named Mr. Aburame to implant bugs into his body so that he can have at least one friend.  
Kanda replayed that last sentence, and then shook his head. "I must be going insane... I need sleep."

* * *

"Ahem -taptap- TRUMPETS AT THE READY!"  
The orchestra conductor waved his hands, and Kanda groaned, and leant against the doorframe, waiting for the faggot band to get the fuck out of his way.  
"Welcome (Welcome!) to Invocation U, where we hope we can make all your little dreams come true! Welcome (welCOME!) to our quaint academy, we hope that this will soon be the best university! Welcome- (welcome...) to Invocation University To-DAIII!"  
Just another ordinary day, thought Kanda bitterly, in hell.  
Kanda shoved a young tenor away. "Fucking school choir..."  
Suddenly, he felt a light touch on his arm. "Let that tenor alone!"  
Kanda muttered angrily, "Oh yeah? Well about I take this sword and stick it up your- Oi, it's just you, Moyashi."  
Allen apologized more than necessary to the young singer. Kanda sighed as they walked away. "Ch. Why are you so nice to fucking little freshmen?"  
Allen laughed, the amusement ringing as clearly as bells out into the frosty autumn air. "Jealous?"  
Kanda glared at nothing in particular. "Fuck no."  
"AND THEN SUDDENLY A GIANT SMEXY REDHEAD PIRATE RABBIT JUMPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND RUINED THE ROMANTIC MOMENT BETWEEN THE TWO YOUNG LOVERS!"  
Lavi grabbed Allen's hand, kissed it, and dodged a punch from Kanda.  
Allen blushed. He withdrew his hand immediately. "We're not lovers! And it's not romantic to fight with someone."  
Kanda drew his fencing blade that he had affectionately dubbed Mugen. "FUCKING BAKA USAGI! WE'RE NOT LOVERS! AND I'M FUCKING OLDER THAN YOU!  
The rabbit chuckled. "Did I strike a nerve, Yuu-chan?"  
Kanda was emitting a murderous aura (more so than usual?) and he said in a low voice, "Don't... call... me... YUU!"  
Lavi brightened. "So I can call you -chan, then?" He skipped off happily, followed by a raging Kanda. Allen sweatdropped as his friends walked off.  
Suddenly, he felt a cool touch on his shoulder. He jumped, and whipped around.  
Tyki Mikk, the famous fashion designer, tipped his top hat. "Good day, Allen Walker."  
Allen said slowly, "How-how do you know my name? And how did you get in?"  
Tyki laughed. "No matter of yours. Do you know where Coelho-chan might be?"  
Allen did not converse fluently in Portuguese.  
"Eh?"  
"Ano... Your rabbit friend. I wanted a word."  
Allen smiled. Of course Mr. Mikk was looking for Lavi, the model. "Right that way, being chased by Yuu Kanda."  
As if on cue, an insane scream of happy-go-luckiness, "You can't catch me, gaaaaylord!", rang out across the courtyard.  
Allen sweatdropped, but Tyki merely shrugged it off and said, "Thank you, shounen," brushing past Allen.  
Allen said, "Shounen?"  
The retreating back of Tyki offered no explanation.

* * *

Lavi dodged another fatal stab. "Haha, you'll never get me- shit!" He was scratched gently by Mugen as a distraction entered his field of view.  
"Tyki Mikk? What are you doing here?"  
Kanda glared at Lavi, and gave up on his murderous mode. "Yeah, scoundrel, what's up?"  
Tyki smirked. "I prefer vagabond. Lavi Bookman, I presume?"  
Lavi nodded uncertainly. "Yes..." He had walked by the fashion designer once or twice, but Lavi really felt like he knew this man because he posed in themed pictures with Tyki's fashions everyday.  
Grinning, Tyki continued. "Yes, well, you're coming with me. We're going to a photo shoot."  
Lavi said mournfully, "But I have classes..."  
Tyki pulled a card out of his jacket pocket. It was the Ace of Spades. He also retrieved a pen, and began to write quickly. When he was done, he flicked the card lazily at Lavi, who snatched it and read it.

_Dear M. Leverrier:_  
_Lavi Bookman will be unable to attend  
__classes today due to a sore ankle obtained  
during soccer. Please excuse him for his injury.  
__Cordially signed,_

_J.H._

_Dr. James House_

Lavi laughed. "No way! Thanks Mr. Mikk!"  
Tyki took off his top hat and run his hand through his gorgeous, silky, bishounen hair. "Please, call me Tyki."  
Lavi blushed, and Kanda could swear that Tyki just smirked. "O-okay..."  
Lavi gave the note to Kanda, who che-ed but went back to Allen.  
Tyki said, "All right, c'mon, rabbit. Let's go."  
Lavi replied eagerly, "Ok!" and then stopped.  
"Wait... Tyki, did you just write down the name of a gay television show coupling on my doctor's note? House and... Wilson?"  
Tyki smirked, and continued walking towards a fancy black sedan, forcing Lavi to stumble beside him, dangling from the attractive older man's elbow, as somehow Tyki had linked their arms. "What of it?"  
Lavi shrugged. "I don't know. It just never occurred to me. I guess House/Wilson could work..."  
And so Lavi spent the rest of the ride there discussing gay television couplings with his older crush while he skipped school to go model.  
Yup.  
Just another ordinary day.

* * *

"And Bodge?"  
"Eh?"  
"Booth/Hodgins?"  
"... Honestly, bunny?"  
Lavi pouted, puffing out his cheeks. He was in the front seat of Tyki's car, which initially he had been very respectful of, but now, his feet were up on the dash and his hands were behind his head as he chattered away.  
Tyki smiled. Lavi was cute when he was indignantly annoyed.  
"Well, yeah! I mean, Hodgins is so... Hodgins! And Booth is... They fit!"  
Tyki took one hand off the custom-tailored wheel, and casually stretched around Lavi's shoulders, which gave Lavi a strong flush immediately. Tyki did not remove his hand, however, but continued on with the conversation.  
"Personally, I always liked Zadgins."  
"Za... Oh! Zach and Hodgins? Yeah, me too! They're so cute together, ne?"  
Tyki smiled, and continued driving with one hand, only retrieving his arm when he was parking in his reserved spot.  
"So then, rabbit, I can assume from all of this that you bend... that way?"  
Lavi shrugged. "I could ask you the same."  
"Touché."  
Tyki got out of the car, and went around and opened the door for Lavi. Lavi stepped out of the car, and blushing, took Tyki's hand.  
Tyki was immediately glomped by a young girl. "Tyki-pon, who's this? He's cute! I want!"  
Lavi recoiled for two reasons.  
One: Was this indigo-haired little lollipop girl Tyki's daughter?  
Two: Had she just said she wanted Lavi?  
Tyki laughed, and squeezed Lavi's hand. He pulled the terrified bunny in close. "No, Road. Behave. Lavi, this is my niece, Road Kamelot. She works in the goth/loli clothes designing part. I believe it was her who designed one of the punk leather outfits for last... July? July. For last July's magazine cover for... some random generic loli mag. Anyway. She's very good at her job, but is moderately possessive of her... dolls."  
Road twinkled at Lavi from over Tyki's shoulders. "Do you want to be my doll, La~vi?"  
Tyki pulled the student into a close hug, and said, "Sorry, Road. Find your own doll." Road jumped off reluctantly, and skipped off, swinging her weird creepy broken-record pumpkin/parasol/cane/thing that kept repeating drearily, "Leeero... Lero-lero-lero-leeero... Leeero... Lero-lero-lero..."  
Lavi's skin tingled, as he understood the insinuation Tyki had made perfectly.  
_This one's mine_.

* * *

Gaarin: Love it? Hate it? Say what you want about it... Review it!  
Mizuhara: Happy sappy Gaarin's back, I presume?  
Gaarin: Ch'yeah! I HAVE A STUFFED USAGI!  
Tyki and Honey: YAYY!  
Lavi: ...wtf.  
Gaarin: Yeah, so vote for me! Oh yeah, and references in this were made to:  
Harry Potter (Voldemort! Yayy!)  
Naruto (LOL, Shino xDD)  
D. Gray- Man Abridged (by TehExorcist on YouTube, fucking hilolrious!)  
House, M.D. (A very good show, go watch it now!)  
Bones (Another great show! Sorry for scarring your minds with Zadgins, I think it's cute but personal preferences right?)  
Mizuhara: ... ... ...


	2. Chapter 2

Tyki fumbled around with the tiny bag, eventually dumping it upside down and rifling quickly through the contents, searching for a flash of white. "Where the hell-" He looked through the mess one more time, and then sighed and gave up.

"Hey, bunny," he said to Lavi, who was reading Furuba, "can I borrow your headphones?"

The ginger nodded, and reached into the pocket of his greyscale stripe sweater, smiling. "Sure, here you go."

Tyki looked at the bright pink headphones with a slight smirk. "Thanks for the flamboyantly gay 'phones, Lavi."

Lavi stuck his tongue out. "Fff. Screw you." He put the headphones in Tyki's hand, and looked away.

Laughing, Tyki ruffled Lavi's hair and the redhead adjusted his headband and frowned.

"Hm. Isn't this cozy," said a voice from behind the pair.

Lavi jumped about a foot, and Tyki calmly turned around. "Devitto, don't scare my model like that."

Standing behind them were a pair of teenage boys, both with dark skin. The one who had spoken, Devitto, had purple hair and a scar on his eye. The one standing behind him had long blonde hair and a strange ribbon on his forehead that appeared to be a piercing of sorts. Both had golden eyes just like Tyki, and were wearing matching outfits (black denim jeans, neon Converse shoes, and white tank tops underneath red plaid sweaters).

"We~ell," the blonde said (his voice was a bit higher, and much happier), "you don't look like you two are working much, soo we thought we might drop by. Isn't that right, Devvy?"

"S'right, Jazz." Devitto stared at Lavi in an almost glaring way. "So, Teakes, introduce us. Who's the new victim?"

Tyki glared back at the teen, and then turned to Lavi. "Lavi, this is Jasdero," he gestured to the blonde, "and Devitto." Devitto bowed. "They're twins, and they work for the Earl. Jasdebi, this is my new model, Lavi Bookman. He's been working for us for some time, but I've taken a personal interest in him—"

Devitto cut in with a creepy "I can see why," as Jasdero yelled "GAY! GAY GAY GAY GAY GAAAAAY!" in the background.

Tyki continued unfazed, "—because of his experience with modeling with my outfits at such a young age."

Jasdero mumbled, "Oh, well, that's no fun."

"And we're about to start modeling. Could you please get out?"

Jasdero gave the man a questioning look. "About to start modeling? How long have you been here?"

Lavi checked his watch, and said timidly, "Um, twenty minutes. Me and Mr. Mikk were just chatting about what we were gonna do."

The blonde squealed, and glomped Lavi. "Eeeek, so adorable! He's almost as cute as me! Kyaa!"

Devitto hmph-ed. "He's not that cute. You're cuter."

Jasdero laughed insanely, and tottered back and forth on his toes and heels, singing "Not in front of the chiiiiildren, daaaarling!"

Tyki scoffed disgruntledly. "Gay? Us? Look who's talking, you violently homosexual men. Go be gay somewhere else, please."

Devitto cupped Jasdero's chin, and leaned in closer than comfortable to his twin brother. "Maybe we will…"

Jasdero drew a tiny golden gun, and pointed it in the direction of his heart while making fake shooting noises. "Kapewww!"

Lavi blinked. "Is that-"

"Naw, not real," said Jasdero with his mildly insane tambre. "It's just a toy gun. But I could still kill somebody with it!"

Tyki scoffed. "_You_ could kill somebody with_out _it. Go away." There was a touch of malice in his voice.

Devitto replied, "Maybe we will," and grabbed Jasdero's arm, pulling him away. "Buh-byeeee!" sang the stupid blonde happily as the twins left, slamming the doors to the studio behind him.

Tyki made a small 'tsk'ing noise.

"They seemed nice," said Lavi timidly.

"Hmm, really? Because to me, it seemed like they acted like infuriatingly stupid semi-incestual man-whores."

The redhead tittered. "Are they always like that?"

The designer leant back, stretched and yawned, and then stood up. "Yup," he said, rotating his shoulders, "pretty much. Anyway, Jasdero was, as much as I hate to admit it, right. You've been here for almost half an hour, and we haven't done anything but chat. Not even about what designs you intended to wear. And we have been sitting outside. And it is mother-fucking _cold_."

Lavi shivered, and then grinned. He sang quietly, "Oh, the weather outside is frightful…"

Tyki caught on, and laughed. "But the fire is sooo delightful!"

"And as long as we've got nowhere to go…"

The older man smiled. "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! Very good idea, rabbit. The end of November is approaching, now that I consider it. Although Christmas carols have become the bane of my existence, I could think of something. Maybe… hmm…"

The two stayed in silence for a while.

Suddenly Lavi sprang up beside the man. "I know exactly what to do!"

* * *

The bell for first class rang abruptly, making Allen jump.

"Turn to page 394," said the familiarly evil teacher with a grin.

Allen sighed. Health class with Professor Marian Cross had to be the worst class at Invocation University. Not only did the class deal with awkward and embarrassing topics like human sexuality, but it was taught by Cross, the most evil man Allen had ever had the extreme displeasure of meeting. Cross was a perverse poor bastard who acted like a flirtatious rich one. He didn't teach the students many useful things, and focused his attention more on the cute young girls. The worst part was, his class was mandatory for all students who weren't taking classes like Anatomy or Physiology, to teach them 'etiquette' or 'life lessons'. Pfft. What a joke.

Allen flipped to the required page, and then slammed his book shut, and yelled, "But sir-!"

"No backtalk, Mr. Walker! Yes, today we are studying…" he paused for dramatic emphasis, "GAY MEN."

The class cried out in unison. It wasn't the topic that was so bad, it was the teacher. Cross had made their previous lessons on people who bent the other way bad as hell, and Allen didn't expect that this would be any better.

"Aside from all of your blatant prejudices, I expect you to read pages 390-399 by the end of class. There might be a test. Or something. Study. And darling apprentice, please see me after class."

Allen fumed. The absolute worst part of Cross was that he was Allen's foster father. Allen had been orphaned twice, and the second time Cross had picked him up. Allen also worked for Cross, doing cheap labor to pay the debts Cross owed various people.

The class began chatting quietly, as Cross put his feet up on the desk and took out a bottle labelled water that most definitely had something stronger.

The boy beside Allen said to him, "At least your old man doesn't make us work at all. It's like a spare!"

Allen grimaced. "I am **not** related to that son of a dog."

The boy laughed, and then said, "Hey, you're pretty funny. Say, what's your name, kid?"

Allen smiled. "Allen. Allen Walker. Yours?"

"Oh, I'm Billy. But you can call me Bag of Chips.

Allen gave him a questioning expression. "Why?"

"'Cause I'm Frito Lay."

The white-haired boy blinked stupidly, completely missing the point. "Um… ok…"

Billy sighed. "Hmm. So, do you write?"

Allen nodded. "Yeah, how'd you know?"

Billy took the boy's hand in his, and tilted it so that Allen could clearly see the ink spots on the far side of his knuckles.

"Oh… heh heh…" Allen blushed. "Yeah, I write."

Billy laughed. "Wow, that's so cool! You see, I write novels too! You're a writer, I'm a writer! We should get together and make poetry in motion!"

Allen blinked again, and then smiled, completely oblivious. "You write too?"

Billy gave Allen an "are you serious?" look, and then composed himself and laughed. "Yeah… hey, I like your shirt. Is it new?"

Allen blushed. "Y-yeah, I just bought it yesterday."

"Hmm… well, it's very becoming on you! In fact, if I was on you, I'd be coming too!"

Allen said confusedly, "I don't… really get it…"

Billy facepalmed. "Ya serious, kid? Fine, lemme be a_ little_ less subtle. I like that shirt of yours a lot, actually. It'd look great crumpled up in a corner of my room."

Allen blinked twice yet again. "Wait... Frito Lay? Like, the chip company?"

Suddenly, Allen felt an ominous aura behind him. He shuddered with surprise as hands slid around his neck, and a dark voice spoke on his ear, making him tremble even further.

"This idiot is mine. Back off, _bitch_."

* * *

Gaarin: Hey readers! Sorry for the late update! It's been a while and I'm kind of falling out of this coupling. I'm too busy reading Zukka slash… don't hate me. Anyway, idk if Lucky's my OTP anymore.

Mizuhara: But you still like Yullen, right?

Gaarin: T.T I don't know…

Mizuhara: n_n

* * *

Hey Readers!

Even though Lavi knows exactly what to do, I don't. Send me in your designs and fashions for Lavi to wear, in the review section. They have to be sensible outfits related to the season of miracles, and something that Tyki himself might design for Lavi to wear. Ho ho ho. Happy Holidays, even though it's belated.

Sincerely, Gaa-chan ~

Also, I got some really nice comments from a couple people:

Lunarius Chibi  
Crazed Fangirl #7  
Sensei (Kurogane, I know it's you. You can't fool me with simple distraction- Wait, Ianben? xD)


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three- Dream On

There was complete silence in the classroom for a few moments. Allen bit his lip, unsure of what to do. He wished Lavi had been there to say something flamboyant and loud and break the tension. But of course this had to all happen on the one day Lavi was ditching.

Billy spoke out into the silence.

"Dude, he's not property."

Kanda growled with that same possessive edge, "Then stop trying to collect him. And he is mine."

The two glared daggers at each other, and then a loud voice interrupted.

"WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THE NEW PREDICAMENT?"

The three all turned towards the owner of the voice, who was an enthused-looking first-year carrying a tape recorder.

Allen blinked. "Uhh... me?"

Two more students popped up behind the first, all with that interviewing expression on their face. Looking at their clipboards and low-quality microphones, Allen quickly guessed that these were the students of the IU Paper club, who made and circulated the school paper.

"Yes, what do you have to say about it?"

"Why did you kill her?"

"Tell us who you like more!"

"Billy or Kanda?"

A new voice chimed in, "KANDA, obviously!"

The voice stepped forward, revealing itself to be a blonde girl with a miniskirt and a pissed look on her face. She said in that same squeaky voice, "I'm Sally and I'm the head of the Prince Yuu Kanda Fan Club Trademark! Allen Walker, you are DEAD!"

Kanda blinked, breaking eye contact with Billy. "Ch... I have a fan club?"

Several other girls in similar attire all gathered around the first one.

"Omigod he's talking to us!"

"I love you, Kanda!"

"Have my children!"

"Ditch that weirdo and MARRY ME!"

"I'd get into soba for you!"

"I'd get into hentai for you!"

"That's disgusting!"

"I really like you, Kanda!"

"I could help you get out of your shell!"

"I think shells are cute!"

"Blue shells ruin everything!"

"I like you alot Kanda!"

Billy took the opportunity, and leant in close to Allen. "If you want to get together without this guy, just dial..." He handed Allen a slip of paper from his breast pocket that was signed Billy with a heart-dotted "i" and had a number scrawled below that. He slipped it into Allen's breast pocket with a wink.

Kanda whipped around, realizing Billy was still close to Allen- was he closer? The angry Japanese man pulled Allen (his hands were still draped over the boy's shoulders) up, and twirled the white-haired boy around so he was facing him. Kanda then moved his left hand lower so that it fell around Allen's waist, and said in a loud voice so that the chattering reporters and angry girls, not to mention Billy, could all hear, "Me and the Moyashi are just friends. But if anyone's going to do anything that strains the bounds of friendship to him, it's going to be m- It's not going to be this guy. Now could you all please fuck off-"

Suddenly a loud screech noise echoed through the room, leaving everyone clutching their ears in agony. A small crowd of fangirls was rushing towards them. "EEEEP!"

Allen sighed. "What now-"

He was interrupted when the crowd of girls began to chant, "YAOI IS LIFE! SLASH IS EXISTENCE! YURI IS LIFE! SLASH IS EXISTENCE! RAINBOW, RAINBOW, GLITTERGLITTER SHINE!"

Kanda sweatdropped. "We... have a... yaoi club?"

Allen said innocently, "What's yaoi?" He recalled Komui mentioning it before (and Lenalee on multiple occasions) but couldn't remember what it was.

The girls all began screaming at the sound of Allen's high-pitched British voice.

"Omigod, the uke is adorable!"

"Kanda and Allen-! Lenalee was right!"

"HAVE SEX!"

"Do a romantic kiss!"

"This is going in my doujin!"

"I like Billy x Allen..."

"That's disgusting! What's wrong with you?"

"Go for it, Kanda!"

"Just look at his pale face..."

"His red lips- SO cute!"

"I like bondage for some reason!"

"TAKE HIM BEFORE BILLY DOES!"

"Don't move! I'm going to go write a fic now!"

Allen sweatdropped. "Wh-what?"

Kanda looked down at Allen, and then grabbed his hand, saying, "Let's get the fuck out of here."

Allen nodded quickly, and then stopped. "Wait." He turned to Billy, and spoke loudly. "As for you- no way in hell." Allen took the small piece of paper from his pocket and opened it. He then ripped it up into eight pieces and threw them on the ground. "Stay the fuck away from me unless you want trouble, Billy."

All the yaoi fangirls cheered (except one who sighed and went off to write onesided angst fics) and the Kanda club jeered at Allen (although they had a few less members since some had run off and joined the yaoi club) and the newspaper crew caught it all on camera. Allen was about to run out of class, fuck the consequences, and then he heard a slow, loud clap. He heard another one, and searched for the source.

Allen looked around, and finally his eyes fell on Cross, who was smirking oddly. "Good work, gentlemen, great flipping job."

Kanda and Allen stopped still, knowing they were about to get into deep shit for causing so much of a distraction.

Instead of reprimanding them, however, Cross's smile only grew. "You two... are definitely going to pass this course!"

Everyone was instantly confused.

"Wait..." voiced Allen. "You mean..."

Cross said, "That was, without a doubt, the best acting I had ever seen in my entire life! I honestly thought my apprentice- my apprentice- was gay for a second there! Fan-fucking-tastic job! Class dismissed." As he spoke the last word, the bell rang loudly, startling everyone.

There was a short pause, and then the large mob advanced on Allen and Kanda slowly. Allen looked down, grabbed Kanda's hand, and begun to dash away as fast as possible. Kanda followed him without hesitating.

The pair ran out of the room, and up and down several corridors, before somehow finding themselves on the school roof. The samurai blinked, and then dropped Allen's hand, panting. "That was..."

Allen let out a sad smile. "Fun?"

Kanda looked over at Allen to see that he looked forlorn. "What's bugging you, sprout?"

-Line Break-

Tyki smiled. "So, that's your idea... Intriguing!"

The pair had moved inside the studio, for warmth. Lavi blushed, and said, leaning against the mirror, "Well, I just thought, since it's Christmas soon and all..."

The older man nodded. "Yes. Have any plans for the holidays?"

Lavi shook his head, grinning dopily. "Heh, no. I'm staying here."

"Doesn't sound too bad," said Tyki. "I mean, your friends seem very attached to you- well, at least, Allen does."

"Oh, Kanda!" Lavi giggled. "Yeah, he's kind of an asshole. But he loves me... somewhere... inside... maybe. He's been a good buddy to me, but he'll always be that tight, uppity Yuu. He wouldn't be Yuu without it. Know what I'm saying?"

Tyki nodded again. "I believe so."

"And anyway," Lavi shot a perverted smirk at Tyki, "he's helped me think of at least one thing to do this Christmas. I have to get him and Allen together, as a couple."

Tyki checked his watch idly, and his eyes widened. He replied to Lavi, "Fascinating. Um, bunny? I have to go; I'm actually late for an appointment with the Earl. When did your classes end?"

"Oh right- I'm in university. Uhh..." The rabbit checked his phone. "Five minutes ago. Why?"

"Need a ride home?"

Lavi smiled serenely. "Yes, please!"

Inside, he was punching a fist in the air while yelling "Strike!"

On the way home, a light wind began to pick up, blowing any remaining leaves off the trees. Lavi said, his feet back up on the dashboard, "Did you see the Victoria's Secret show?"

The Portuguese man nodded. "Not exactly the height of sophistication, but yeah. Lulubell made me watch most of it."

"What's not classy about New York?"

Tyki shrugged. "It was almost borderline porn, Lavi. I mean, the models were wearing wings and bras. And that was pretty much it."

Lavi raised an eyebrow, smiling. "And what's wrong with that?"

"Dirty bunny," laughed Tyki. "I liked Adriana Lima's angel outfit a lot, but the rest... well, none of them stuck out to me."

"Oh, you mean the one with the wings that faded into black? Yeah, I liked that one. She got the Fantasy Bra too. And she looked amazing for someone who had just given birth like, what was it, a couple months ago?"

"Think so. And the gloves were nice. But aside from the models, the event was so-so. I mean, the entertainer was who again- Katy Perry?"

"Not Europe-classy, but still..." Lavi paused. "I mean, yeah, you can't compare it to Lanvin, but it does have quite a bit of a reputation. And I like Katy Perry!" he said indignantly.

At this, Tyki held in a laugh.

"Well, I mean... some of her songs are okay! Like... uh... E.T... maybe..."

Tyki chuckled, and then looked at Lavi, a giant smile on his face. "You're adorable, lovely."

Lavi crossed his arms, and said irritatedly, "Do you give pet names to everyone you meet?"

Tyki's smile only grew. "Nope. Only some."

There was a pregnantly awkward silence. Lavi murmured quietly, "Turn here," breaking it.

"So," inquired Tyki, "do you live with anyone?"

Lavi shook his head. "Nope."

"Really?" asked the designer curiously. "I would have thought that a social butterfly like you had at least three roommates..."

"Butterfly?" Lavi grinned. "I thought I was a bunny."

Tyki said with a smile, "Do you get lonely, living on your own?"

Lavi shrugged a little, and avoided answering as they drove up to his house. "It's here."

Tyki pulled over by the curb neatly, and then pulled out of his chest pocket a card. It was an ace, like the one he had pulled out of nowhere this morning. But instead of spades, it was an ace of hearts.

He handed it to the redhead, who flipped it over in curiousity and realized it was a business card with Tyki's name and number on it. Lavi looked up into the older man's golden eyes questioningly.

"Lovely, you should come after school sometimes to try on and model stuff. You'd be paid, of course. Would that be okay?"

Lavi agreed quickly. "Yeah, sure! I can meet you after school on... Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays... would _that_ be okay?"

The brunette replied, "It's a deal."

"Sweet!" said Lavi. He paused, and then said, "Wait, so did you just hire me?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"But don't I have to get interviewed or something?"

Tyki's golden eyes searched up and down the model's body, eventually returning to meet his green eye. "This whole day was an interview."

Lavi smiled, and said, "Awesome! Well, see you around, Tyki!" He opened the door, letting a breeze in, and began to undo his seatbelt.

Suddenly, lips crashed against his. Lavi, shocked, didn't move at first, but then began to respond to the kiss by leaning into the face of- of- of Tyki-

Lavi gasped out into the brunette's mouth, realizing _exactly who he was kissing_, and Tyki moved back promptly.

Breathless, Lavi asked hoarsely, "What- what- what was that?"

Tyki blinked, and then said falsely, "It's a tradition. Where I'm from. In my culture. Yeah."

Smiling, Lavi rolled his eyes, and then got out of the car. He waved goodbye to Tyki, and walked inside his house calmly. Once inside, he collapsed to the ground, touching his lips with two fingers.

"Oh my god, he just kissed me."

* * *

Gaarin: Yeah, sorry for making Lavi such a faggy faggy fag. And Victoria's Secret is a fashion show, okay?

Mizuhara: YOU LESBIAN.

Gaarin: Shut up, one who fucks pans. Read and review! Vote for me!


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